Monster Hunter vs. the Mutants

by Vorpal

It was just where the client said it’d be. Switching off the GPS, I grasped the gem in a gloved hand. Having retrieved the client’s cabochon, a stone of some worth, I slipped it into an old Crown Royal bag, which I then placed in a belt pouch.

I was warned about the three-eyed mutants, but hadn’t seen any sign of them. Maybe this would be an easy one. Hoping to shake off any possible pursuers, I took a different way back to the ship.

In the alleyway between two buildings, I was jumped. Two of the things made a grab for me with their grey, rubbery arms. Without thinking, I drew my right blaster and fired from the hip, at close-quarters. The bolts didn’t burn a clean hole through his thick chest, but they staggered him a bit.

Seeing this, the other mutant let loose a gurgling howl from his gaping maw, which was promptly silenced when I blasted what passed for his tonsils. It fell.

I spun back around and drew my left blaster, sighting in on the first one. Both blasters bucked, and burned through two of its eyes. It collapsed. Its remaining eye stared at me accusingly from the ground. How cute.

There was a scuttling behind me. I turned to see something crawl out of a greasy-looking cardboard box. It was a smaller version of the mutants. A mini-freak, if you will. Something brushed against my boot, and I nearly jumped. Several of the little guys were coming out of hiding, and seemed very interested in the corpses. They started tearing off chunks and carrying them back to wherever they crawled out of. I guess it was dinner time, and meat was back on the menu.

I twirled and holstered my blasters. I was right. It was an easy one. I hadn’t technically made it back to the ship yet, but nothing else could go wrong, right?


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